Wierdness

I haven’t had a lot to say (at least not that I’m willing to say in such a public forum) lately but something strange happened yesterday that hasn’t happened in awhile. It started at lunchtime; the vision in my left eye became strange. It was almost as if I’d been staring at the sun and everything was bright and distorted, but only in my left eye. It passed within 5-10 minutes. Within a half hour my left hand went numb, starting with my pinky finger and traveling across my hand, up to my elbow, and then to my mouth and nose. Within about 20-30 minutes it passed and I felt essentially normal except for a slight headache. This happened for the first time 3.5 years ago while I was on vacation to Death Valley and then again maybe 1 to 1.5 years ago while I was home on a weekend. I can’t find a common factor between the three times except it was dry and hot. I’ve called my doctor and have an appointment for Friday morning and have been instructed to go to urgent care if it happens again before then. It’s been suggested to me that it’s stress or a type of migraine. Since numbness and vision problems are also associated with MS (I had some time to search online while on hold with the doctor) I’m hoping it’s just stress or a migraine. Like there isn’t enough going on in my life right now, honestly.

I do have something fun to look forward to, however. My ten year high school reunion is on Saturday. I have a pretty dress and a place to stay and am looking forward to it. I still need to find shoes and a small purse and make an appointment to get my nails done on Friday. I’ve only stayed in touch with a few people from my class and I’m curious to see what everyone else has been doing since graduation.

As far as stitching is concerned I have still been focusing on Noah’s Sub. It is moving along rapidly and I think I will actually finish it this year. I also pulled a Christmas ornament back out that was over half done; I think I’ll try to finish it soon also. Of course while I was working on it last night I got a beading needle stuck in my finger (eye end with floss…). It was extremely unpleasant; it wouldn’t come out initially and I panicked a little but eventually managed to remove it.

On another note entirely I’m thinking about auditioning for a solo in the Christmas program at church. I wasn’t planning to but last night I was practicing for a three-part song and one of the ladies with whom I’m singing said I should and she is the choir director for the local middle school. I figure it can’t hurt; maybe it would even be fun. I don’t think I’ve ever sung a solo. I don’t know that I’d even get one of them but I think I’ll try for it.

Well that’s about it here. I ended having a headache last night after all. I slept really well and feel a lot better today. I’m still going to see the doctor on Friday but I’m relieved to feel a little better today at least.

School Fundraiser...

Now that Luke is in the public school system we're seeing the whole "school fundraiser" thing. Oh goody. Anyway, I've been slacking; it ends Friday and I think we've sold one item? If you're interested in helping out here's the URL: linky. His Student ID is WE5962. I'm not looking forward to another however many years there are of this...

Just Some Thoughts

I haven’t really known what to write lately so I just haven’t been posting. I’ve written probably three blog entries and then deleted them. Maybe this one will stick…

I had an interesting afternoon yesterday. I took Luke to the park down the street to ride his bike and play on the playground. He saw a friend from school, an adorable little girl, and so they played together for awhile while her older sister played in a softball game nearby. I had a long talk with the girl’s mother while they played. I have said before that I think God allows us to put ourselves into unpleasant situations because we need to grow or learn something or appreciate something that we wouldn’t otherwise. Yesterday I began to wonder if maybe, in addition to that, things happen in our lives just so that we can say one thing to one person and have a chance to make a difference in their lives.

I’m talking about my childhood and my parents and the perspective that I have from those experiences. This woman I met yesterday has two kids and an alcoholic husband who is often out of work, they’re barely scraping by, etc, and she’s at the end of her rope. She said how he had been sober for five days so far “this time” and that she wants out but it’s so hard with the kids, bills, etc. Even with what’s going on in my life I would never want to encourage someone to get a divorce but I did share my experience as a child growing up in a similar family and how my mom stayed “for the kids” for so many years and the harm it did. I don’t know what she’ll do with her situation, and I tried not to say what she should do either way because it’s not my place to say, but she seemed to really need to talk about it with someone who understood a little bit. I know that it was helpful for me because it made me see in a small way how trapped my mom must have felt and why it was so hard to her to finally leave my dad. I harbored a lot of resentment towards her for years because I felt she should have divorced him long before she did but she stayed “for the kids”. Anyway the other mom and I exchanged numbers and plan to get the kids together to play again soon.

There have been so many times recently where I see someone who seems to have it together or have such a perfect life and it turns out that they have their own problems too, different but not necessarily better. It cautions me to not be envious of other people who may have the life that I think I want; there is usually more to a person than what they allow others to see.

I have thought so much recently about the effect that decisions have, both on the person making a decision and other people around them. Some decisions can have immediate consequences and others may not be apparent for years. This decision that I have made, while I believe it is the right decision for me, causes me great pain to see its effect elsewhere. I don’t want to cause pain for anyone else but I want to be happy. Christine said something in a comment to a previous post that, with this very short time we have on this earth, it’s important to do what makes us happy. I believe that she is right, and I know what that means in my life, but it doesn’t make it easy.